I have come to the dark side. ;) I never thought that I'd be the one creating a blog, but I am finding that since the birth of my little one (and subsequently leaving work), I am craving some creative outlets.
I always thought that "motherhood" would come quite naturally to me. I have always adored my nieces and nephews and loved holding babies. My husband, on the other hand, looked terribly awkward whenever a baby was even in the same room. And then a funny thing happened - we had our own little bundle of joy! Miss Kate. I held grand visions of being the superior parent because I had always been more drawn to children. My, doesn't life continue to surprise? From day one, Steve has been more effective in relating to Kate, calming her and simply going with the flow when it come to parenting. He claims that the minute he held her, everything came naturally to him.
Then what happened to me?! I readily admit that this parenting thing has been much more intense than I ever realized and I've had to work hard at not allowing myself to get discouraged when I don't feel that I connect as well with Kate. In times when I have tears running down my cheeks, my husband sweetly reminds me that he thinks it's great to see my lifetime membership in the "Control Freaks Club" slowly disintegrating. But this control thing is not something so easily discarded. It's kept me safe, professional and organized (OK, somewhat) for how many years? And now I have a 4-month-old whose daily structure is anything but structured and I admit that it's thrown me for a loop.
So my challenge then is to learn to go with the flow better. To rip up my membership card and perhaps join "Control Freaks Anonymous". To enjoy my daughter's idiosyncrasies and remember that a really difficult day usually only lasts a short while. To follow my husband's lead and not overanalyze everything. To remind myself that "motherhood" is not a prescription to be followed, but rather a journey of discovery - of both my daughter and myself.
Welcome, sister!
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